It's like the mid of my holiday.. holiday has been preponed I suppose. Tomorrow morning is results day. Omg I am really nervous cause I am the only witness to how badly I have done for my end year examination. I am sure that I failed Maths and Economics. I should have barely passed Business. I think this time my accounts and general paper are also average. I would be really thankful if I managed to pass all but I am sure that maths is the worse, economics is also on par. It's like so unfair, I pick my topics because there are times when one cannot finish studying all properly so I chose topics and it was sheer bad luck that it did not come out. :( But that's okay, we can always be more prepared for the next paper. This is no excuse but I was kinda sick for the previous few days before the exam too. I literally had headache that made me want to end life (80%) Lol. It was so bad but after staying in the hospital for 3 hours, it finally subsided and finally I was 100% okay by the next day but it did hamper in ways of how I would study. Sometimes I would feel like totally not studying. Bad habit but oh well, it's over now. All the papers are accounted for and marks has been set. I have no regrets what so ever. But my mom's kinda disappointed.I told her that I am going to fail. She told me not to attend classes no more. It's my birthday coming up in a week, next Sat. I was planning maybe I'd celebrate it but I guess it is not going to happen but that's really okay cause it's just a day when one first cries, really. I am planning to go sakela on Saturday with Susma and Jyoti. I don't have the Rai costume yet and I don't think I am going to wear Rai really. I am planning to wear light saree instead of a usual black skirt with white polka dots. (Too mainstream)
I have been chatting/talking with MR lately. Actually we always chat and today, we finally got to talk from messenger. Thank God. He is really sweet and nice. I can always feel his unconditional love for me. I feel so honoured to be his girlfriend and hope to be his finance soon and then his wife. :D But that's a long wait, only after I get my bachelor degree, which can be another 4-6 years depending on how well and where I study. It's like so good. He sees future with me. We often talk about having children, a dog as our pet. We can just talk about anything and everything, it's fun and it shows how much we have bonded over almost a year. It's going to be 11 months with Mr Md in 3 days. :) I am planning to send him a card over for our 1st Anniversary but I haven't had ideas or time to make one yet. Argh my creativity has gone down the drain.. I don't know how to ask him for his address too haha
Saturday 21 May 2016
Monday 2 May 2016
Rants? Clueless. Inspired
Vacationnnnnn~ for the next 2 months :D It started on 29 of April to probably 28 of June. My college is so bad at informing us about the right dates..we have to log into our fb or message 'GIHE' to 4546. End term was bad. I feel like the worse student is defo me. I did study but could not understand much due to our teachers being so laid back about the whole studying process. It kinda sounds like I am blaming the teachers but I guess we are both at fault. They fail at motivating us to study, well not all.
I am not looking forward to collect my results. Nahhh, I am really going to do better at the next exam. Omg, I badly need some motivation. My English speaking has also declined -.- I will only take my ielts like on the next exam date. I need to improve by speaking English rather than my recent comfortable Nepali speaking. But what sucks is that...people in my college thinks I am showing off by speaking English, they tell me that I am now in Nepal and not in Singapore so stop because they don't understand which hurts. Kinda cause it's affecting me badly. Like for example, when I need to speaking English other times, it sound so bad like I recently picked up the language. Omg, pisses me off. I do not understand why I care either, I mean it's my life, I can do what I want to. Speak whatever I want. One day, I am going to speak Malay and Chinese. But who do I speak with haha. And Filipino and Thai, languages of my best friends. :D I know really limited words though.
Ah so well, let's go back to the holiday list;
I basically have nothing planned. The worse part is that I find my classmates real selfish...okay not all but the few ones I hang out with. None of them shared what they are going to do and whoever did, they are not going to help me out. Nepal, the land of Himalaya, also the land of corruption. Here, they value connections and money more than talent. Well, it's changing now though but there are still lots of room for improvement. More like 80% more. But everything has pros and cons. They are many things good about Nepal as well. So well, I don't really have a lot of connections here. I have none so I cannot get internship or jobs here easily. So I am not sure what I will do during the holiday. I want to volunteer but it's kinda far from where I live and no one wants to take me there so I am not sure. I am a clueless person with no idea what to doo. But whatever, for the past few days I have been watching few movies. It has been Chinese, Thailand, Filipino, English(duh) and today I watched this that touched me. It was about cultural and I am really interested in things like that so well, it was basically about enlightenment, Buddha, India, a thai movie called "Namaste Hello Bye". It taught me about how precious life is(life is short), how to be calm and how Buddhist works. It did taught me a lot. Now I understand why my boyfriend decided to tattoo Lord Buddha on his left arm. Buddhist is a really peaceful religion, every religion is actually but it's different. For example when I go to Boudha Stupa in Nepal and when I hear the chants, it makes me feel at peace. The 5 colours flag all over the stupa. I heard that the prayers are blown. Ah well, so I decided to make a new blog and it will be about cultures, religion, languages in my country and around Asia. After being born and raised in a multi racial country, Singapore, I have always been open to cultures and have the urge to learn more about them.
I am not looking forward to collect my results. Nahhh, I am really going to do better at the next exam. Omg, I badly need some motivation. My English speaking has also declined -.- I will only take my ielts like on the next exam date. I need to improve by speaking English rather than my recent comfortable Nepali speaking. But what sucks is that...people in my college thinks I am showing off by speaking English, they tell me that I am now in Nepal and not in Singapore so stop because they don't understand which hurts. Kinda cause it's affecting me badly. Like for example, when I need to speaking English other times, it sound so bad like I recently picked up the language. Omg, pisses me off. I do not understand why I care either, I mean it's my life, I can do what I want to. Speak whatever I want. One day, I am going to speak Malay and Chinese. But who do I speak with haha. And Filipino and Thai, languages of my best friends. :D I know really limited words though.
Ah so well, let's go back to the holiday list;
I basically have nothing planned. The worse part is that I find my classmates real selfish...okay not all but the few ones I hang out with. None of them shared what they are going to do and whoever did, they are not going to help me out. Nepal, the land of Himalaya, also the land of corruption. Here, they value connections and money more than talent. Well, it's changing now though but there are still lots of room for improvement. More like 80% more. But everything has pros and cons. They are many things good about Nepal as well. So well, I don't really have a lot of connections here. I have none so I cannot get internship or jobs here easily. So I am not sure what I will do during the holiday. I want to volunteer but it's kinda far from where I live and no one wants to take me there so I am not sure. I am a clueless person with no idea what to doo. But whatever, for the past few days I have been watching few movies. It has been Chinese, Thailand, Filipino, English(duh) and today I watched this that touched me. It was about cultural and I am really interested in things like that so well, it was basically about enlightenment, Buddha, India, a thai movie called "Namaste Hello Bye". It taught me about how precious life is(life is short), how to be calm and how Buddhist works. It did taught me a lot. Now I understand why my boyfriend decided to tattoo Lord Buddha on his left arm. Buddhist is a really peaceful religion, every religion is actually but it's different. For example when I go to Boudha Stupa in Nepal and when I hear the chants, it makes me feel at peace. The 5 colours flag all over the stupa. I heard that the prayers are blown. Ah well, so I decided to make a new blog and it will be about cultures, religion, languages in my country and around Asia. After being born and raised in a multi racial country, Singapore, I have always been open to cultures and have the urge to learn more about them.
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