Sad story to move on

So well, everyday of my life is totally boring. I don't do anything much, I don't even pick up my book to study. In this way, I do not know if I will pass my O levels this coming October. :(
I want school to resume but at the same time, it is so stressing that I want holiday instead. God, I need to pick myself up and put up my socks! So I decided that from today onwards until the end of O levels, I am going to study and put aside my phone for some time instead of having it with me every single time. :) I hope that I will be able to achieve that. I remember 4 years ago what my mama(mom's cousin brother) told me..he told me that the only way in life to ever succeed is to study and make our parents proud. I was 13 and I did not pay attention much. He passed away last year in June when I was in Nepal..as my family and I were on our way back to Dharan after a few days in Therathum. Mama had wanted to meet us in Kathmandu(ktm) when we had arrived Nepal before going Dharan but he had to study for his engineering examination so he planned to meet after we returned back but fate is a strange thing right? We did not get to meet, I could not get more of his lectures(I call it lecture as haha I was young then for it to sink into my brain) It was really sad for me as I never want anyone to actually kick the bucket. I still have the heavy heart till today,it makes me sad that I could not meet him but I guess that's what life is about. Mama is in a good place now.
Haste mama drowned in the Trisuli river of Nepal. I feel more sad for Kailash mama(his older brother) as he had lost his mother not too long ago and he had to lose his youngest brother next. I wish Haste mama had not demised, he was the top student in his college, he was the best. I cannot remember the exact date he decrease(middle of June) but he will away be in my heart to guide me to do my best for my studies and make my parents proud of what I can become. So there it is, I am going to study because he believed in me and I do not want to disappoint him. I do not know why I went through all the pain and tears in writing this but yeah, the chance of passing national examination does not come again and again. They have to wait a full year so do it once and do it well. God bless. RIP Haste mama.